Early in my recovery I learned that if I were having difficulty in making progress in my AA program, I should sit down and recite the 12 steps. Review them. Which one is giving me difficulty or am I failing to act on? Go back to work on that.
I developed a number of simple ways of thinking about how these steps work in my life to help me focus on what is important in each of these steps.
Step 1
Just do it.
Step 2
I thought I was terminally unique.
Ask the question, “What is god”
First we come, then we come to, and as a result we come to believe
I took actions I didn’t believe in so that I could be able to believe in something that would help me take action and I got results that I couldn’t deny.
Remember that we say, “If god were sought”, not “If god were found”.
Step 3
The program is a partnership between god and me
God – here I am. Take me out of myself and give me the strength to do your will not mine. Remind me always that my life with fewer difficulties is simply a testament of your presence in my life.
We can’t grow if we maintain control
Worrying about uncomfortable things takes away from what time we have
Surrendering is like learning to balance
When we say, “god give me strength,” it is my way of asking for help!
If my will is my thinking – what motivates us – and my life is the history of the actions I have taken, then I must continually ask, “Are my motivations and thinking god directed or self-directed?”
If I admit I am alcoholic and if I believe in a power greater than myself, that strength makes it possible to turn my will and life over to god.
Step 3 teaches me that self-will is the root of all my troubles. I have 3 basic instincts: relationships, security and sex and the abuse of those instincts are: resentments, fears, harm toward others.
Step 3 will become easier every day because I recognize god’s presence and the blessings. I must try to continue to be receptive.
I need to let go of the delusion that I am in control
Step 4
What did I do that was harmful? More important – what was my part in it?
Inventory is a discovery of what has blocked me from spirituality.
Anger and inadequacy stand in the way of living
Storytelling gives me the power over the shadow things that haunt me
I grew up thinking I was a fraud and that I would be found out
Connections (a spiritual sense) came to me through sheer attendance at meetings
I cannot be loving and fearful at the same time
To become an art critic I stare at a painting until 3 things come to mind and I write about those. In step 4, I focus on 3 words: fearless, moral, and grateful
Step 5
If I settle with the past, I’ll better meet today
By admitting my wrongs, I give myself the freedom to move into new relationships
Step 6
God’s love is a gift. If I slow down, I’ll find it easier get in touch with god.
Problems won’t defeat me
Step 7
Exiting or grief has 5 stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance. I need to work through them all to acceptance.
Confidence, borne of faith, allows me to ask for help
Every defect of character has a consequence
Step 8
If this is a program of relationships then I grow by working the steps and working means spending time on others.
Most important words in Step 8 are: all, all, willing
I need humility for 3 reasons: 1) so I recognize the severity of my defects; 2) to acknowledge the limits of human power in addressing defects; 3) to appreciate the enormity of god’s power to transform
I make movement toward healing but am never finished. The healing began in Step 3. Steps 4 to 7 are the work I need to do, but I cannot do the work without the foundation of Step 3 – making god part of my life. Step 9 is the culmination of all that I have done to prepare and begin the real work of life, that is being the new and different person I ought and want to be. Through this journey I have had many adventures and become renewed.
Making an amend is making a change – it is owning my own part and accepting responsibility.
Resentments take energy
Step 8 is difficult because I have euphoric memory – purposeful forgetting – otherwise known as sins of omission
Step 8 requires that I remain aware of what’s going on around me
Step 9
Why shouldn’t I be on the list?
An amend is not necessarily an apology
The apology is implied – the act of changing myself to a new person is the amend
This doesn’t mean we think less of ourselves; it means we think of ourselves less.
I cannot buy my own peace of mind at the expense of others. I cannot save my face and my ass at the same time.
The promises are the statement of my spiritual being. What I am, what I become as a spiritual entity, is best stated by reading the promises.
Step 10
Promptly
Step 11
I pray to be worthy to receive gifts
Have I moved into a life of spirit?
Step 12
This is a gift of love which I once thought myself incapable of, and a gift of wisdom – the wisdom to know the difference.
General notes
Remember HALT hungry (physical); angry (emotional); lonely (spiritual); tired (mental). Seek balance. The program is a daily exercise in finding balance in my life. This is a balance in all parts of our lives: emotional, mental, spiritual, and physical
Always look past what alcohol did for me to see what alcohol did to me. It is important to remember I thought that alcohol would do something for me – AA has taught me to look at what alcohol did to me.
I need to celebrate the joy of ordinary living. Pay attention, express gratitude, grow in compassion.
I could never have imagined the life I have now when I was drinking
Humility means remaining teachable. When I teach I do, then evaluate, then learn. Then I do again.
Remember the ABC’s: action, belief, consequence and that the only changeable element of those three is belief.
Arrogance is ignorance
What I wanted from drinking I got from sobriety.
I developed a number of simple ways of thinking about how these steps work in my life to help me focus on what is important in each of these steps.
Step 1
Just do it.
Step 2
I thought I was terminally unique.
Ask the question, “What is god”
First we come, then we come to, and as a result we come to believe
I took actions I didn’t believe in so that I could be able to believe in something that would help me take action and I got results that I couldn’t deny.
Remember that we say, “If god were sought”, not “If god were found”.
Step 3
The program is a partnership between god and me
God – here I am. Take me out of myself and give me the strength to do your will not mine. Remind me always that my life with fewer difficulties is simply a testament of your presence in my life.
We can’t grow if we maintain control
Worrying about uncomfortable things takes away from what time we have
Surrendering is like learning to balance
When we say, “god give me strength,” it is my way of asking for help!
If my will is my thinking – what motivates us – and my life is the history of the actions I have taken, then I must continually ask, “Are my motivations and thinking god directed or self-directed?”
If I admit I am alcoholic and if I believe in a power greater than myself, that strength makes it possible to turn my will and life over to god.
Step 3 teaches me that self-will is the root of all my troubles. I have 3 basic instincts: relationships, security and sex and the abuse of those instincts are: resentments, fears, harm toward others.
Step 3 will become easier every day because I recognize god’s presence and the blessings. I must try to continue to be receptive.
I need to let go of the delusion that I am in control
Step 4
What did I do that was harmful? More important – what was my part in it?
Inventory is a discovery of what has blocked me from spirituality.
Anger and inadequacy stand in the way of living
Storytelling gives me the power over the shadow things that haunt me
I grew up thinking I was a fraud and that I would be found out
Connections (a spiritual sense) came to me through sheer attendance at meetings
I cannot be loving and fearful at the same time
To become an art critic I stare at a painting until 3 things come to mind and I write about those. In step 4, I focus on 3 words: fearless, moral, and grateful
Step 5
If I settle with the past, I’ll better meet today
By admitting my wrongs, I give myself the freedom to move into new relationships
Step 6
God’s love is a gift. If I slow down, I’ll find it easier get in touch with god.
Problems won’t defeat me
Step 7
Exiting or grief has 5 stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance. I need to work through them all to acceptance.
Confidence, borne of faith, allows me to ask for help
Every defect of character has a consequence
Step 8
If this is a program of relationships then I grow by working the steps and working means spending time on others.
Most important words in Step 8 are: all, all, willing
I need humility for 3 reasons: 1) so I recognize the severity of my defects; 2) to acknowledge the limits of human power in addressing defects; 3) to appreciate the enormity of god’s power to transform
I make movement toward healing but am never finished. The healing began in Step 3. Steps 4 to 7 are the work I need to do, but I cannot do the work without the foundation of Step 3 – making god part of my life. Step 9 is the culmination of all that I have done to prepare and begin the real work of life, that is being the new and different person I ought and want to be. Through this journey I have had many adventures and become renewed.
Making an amend is making a change – it is owning my own part and accepting responsibility.
Resentments take energy
Step 8 is difficult because I have euphoric memory – purposeful forgetting – otherwise known as sins of omission
Step 8 requires that I remain aware of what’s going on around me
Step 9
Why shouldn’t I be on the list?
An amend is not necessarily an apology
The apology is implied – the act of changing myself to a new person is the amend
This doesn’t mean we think less of ourselves; it means we think of ourselves less.
I cannot buy my own peace of mind at the expense of others. I cannot save my face and my ass at the same time.
The promises are the statement of my spiritual being. What I am, what I become as a spiritual entity, is best stated by reading the promises.
Step 10
Promptly
Step 11
I pray to be worthy to receive gifts
Have I moved into a life of spirit?
Step 12
This is a gift of love which I once thought myself incapable of, and a gift of wisdom – the wisdom to know the difference.
General notes
Remember HALT hungry (physical); angry (emotional); lonely (spiritual); tired (mental). Seek balance. The program is a daily exercise in finding balance in my life. This is a balance in all parts of our lives: emotional, mental, spiritual, and physical
Always look past what alcohol did for me to see what alcohol did to me. It is important to remember I thought that alcohol would do something for me – AA has taught me to look at what alcohol did to me.
I need to celebrate the joy of ordinary living. Pay attention, express gratitude, grow in compassion.
I could never have imagined the life I have now when I was drinking
Humility means remaining teachable. When I teach I do, then evaluate, then learn. Then I do again.
Remember the ABC’s: action, belief, consequence and that the only changeable element of those three is belief.
Arrogance is ignorance
What I wanted from drinking I got from sobriety.